|
|
|
|
|
|
| January 15 - 18
2001 Archive |
jan 18.01
oh for the love of God and all that's holy. you've got to be
kidding me, and the hardest part of this story is deciding who
the stupid one is. on one hand, i just want to fly out
there and slap the guy in the head for whining about 16 freaking
dollars. THAT'S ONLY 3 PITCHERS AT THE BAR! but at the
same time, i admire this guy, one for realizing that even though
it's only $16, it's still a PRINCIPLE thing!
then there's the ignorant school system. here they are,
supposedly intelligent people, but yet they've wasted probably
thousands upon thousands
of dollars of taxpayers money, just to keep from paying $16
to a teacher who was probably severely and heinously underpaid
for many many years. the way i see it, if they could get
away with making this guy happy for that small amount of money,
for heavens sake, the principal of the school i'm betting keeps
a lot more than that as spare
change. he spends more than that on his weekly trip to
the porn shop. i've spent more than that on a good slab of
over cooked prime rib. but no...let's drag this out into 2
years of litigation and a few thousand in fees paid to some
personal injury lawyer who got his legal degree from Sally
Struthers on a TV ad, just to save what comes up to the
equivalent of feeding a family of 3 at Hardees.
---------------------
and it's another cold day in hell, and
it isn't all that warm here in the basement either. and
the warmth from the processor, though enough to cook
a small squirrel ribeye, it's barely enough to keep one
finger at a time warm.
as far as
the supperware goes....no luck, and she's still a little
peaved about the phone. as easy as it was to break that
thing, it's not near as easy to put back together. so now
i've posted my resume at monster.com
, but so far, i haven't got one single fruit basket.
---------------------
News Headlines
Taxmen
Probe Stripper's Breast Implants
|
jan 17.01
well...caught another squirrel. he's a big un
too! i did discover today that you can use bowling ball
polish as a marinade, let it soak for a couple hours, kind of a
funny taste but the meat sure comes out shiny. i'm thinkin
i found another job. selling these plastic containers for
food. what an INCREDIBLE idea. i think it's called
supperware or something like that. all i know is i think
it's the greatest thing since....well...since supperware.
now i'm just waiting for the wife to get home so i can run
this one past here.
she done a mean thing last night though, there i was sufferin
from glue withdrawls, and she tells me she's feeling generous,
and she'll lob me down a beer. but in my state of
perpetual glee, i failed to remember that all we had in the
house was bottled beer. well, needless to say, down the
stairs it came and **CRASH** there was a pile of broken glass
lying in the pool of golden nectar. so, here i sit, trying
to put this damn phone back together while trying to pry the
damn glass slivers out of my tongue.
my that squirrel sure is tasty...OWW...bone
---------------------
this is an interesting subject because if i read the article
20 times, i'd have 20 different feelings about it. but
overall, i think that year-round school is a great idea.
the proposed idea would call for a 45 day session, then 15 days
off, and repeat, and then a 6 week summer vacation.
this would still allow for families to have time in the summer
to have vacations, but, at the same time, i believe that
it would help the students stay focused. i remember my
schooling days which wasn't that long ago, and how much i didn't
remember come august after an entire summer off. and i
believe that if i would have had a 6 week break, and went right
back to school, i would have retained more, and benefited a
lot.
i also believe the more they keep the little rodents in school,
the less time they have to be out tearing things up. kids
these days seem to have nothing better to do than go around and
destroy other peoples stuff, whether it's stealing pool balls
from the local bowling
alley, or egging somebody's car, it seems
to be the only way they can entertain themselves. if they
were in school all year around, and they would enforce like an
8:00 pm curfew, that would leave less time for the little cretins
to be out breakin crap.
i believe in the long run, this would help add smarter people
to today's work force as i believe that kids would actually
learn more rather than just retaining knowledge until summer
then forgetting it all.
---------------------
And Now...
a report from the cubes...
As I drove to work today, I realized something, no one drives
as well as I do, or at least I think so. Every morning I drive
to work and I witness more and more things that convince me of
my vehicular superiority.
As I whiz past a Minivan crammed with kids and a valium
popping soccer mom at the wheel I wave and smile, knowing that one
more "Billy's hitting me!!!" from the backseat
will snap her fragile psyche like a twig. It's good to be me.
Why, hello there Mr. Yuppie Business man. Could you please do
me a favor and put
down the damn cell phone, so that you can focus on the road
ahead of you and not the number
pad on your friggin phone. Here, let me help you, oops
sorry, did I make you spill your Double half calf goat's milk
Latte? Life sucks, get a helmet. It's good to be me.
OoooOOoh, what have we here? Sports car, red, Mustang, blonde
hair, yup, I thought so.... Spoiled rich little daddy's girl.
Oblivious to all that is going on around her, just happily MmmBopping
along the road. Oh, you want over into my lane? Strange, I
didn't think I had that kind of room in front of me... Oh wait,
I don't. You are upset at me for honking at you now? Sure, you
are. You don't care if you would have dinged up the car, after
all, you didn't pay for it. Thanks Dad.
Hrmmm, brake lights in front of me. There's no reason to stop
here. Oooh, an accident,
yes, yes, we must all stop and look. God forbid we didn't
see exactly what happened. *Sigh* I hate you people, I
really do. Oop, there's an opening, cut left, ahh open road. As
I slide into my parking spot at work, I flip off the radio just
as the news woman starts saying something about a soccer mom
wrapping her Minivan around a light pole and head on into
another day in the cubical jungle, secure in the knowledge that
I am the best driver on the road, or so I think.
that's it for me, live from the cubes, this is Phelan
reporting...back to you...
---------------------
News Headlines
California
Capitol Scorched In Fiery Truck Crash
New Chip Could Bring Video To Mobile Phones
Masked Gunmen Kill Palestinian TV Chief
Rural Nebraskan Not Sure He Could Handle Frantic Pace Of Omaha
|
jan 16.01
News Headlines
Mad
Cow Scare At McDonalds Supplier In Italy
Ping-Pong Somehow Elicits Macho Posturing
Life With Madonna Is "Magnificent," Says Ritchie
---------------------
hi ho, and welcome again to the
basement. ran out of squirrel meat this morning, so i
reached through the crack in the window and pulled in some grass
in. but i think i ate too much grass, cause i redeposited
it in the drain a few minutes later.
well, the wife but the nix on that envelope stuffing idea,
something about not being a REAL job
or something. and now she's mad about the cordless phone
too. so, not only do i have to find
a job, but somehow i've got to get this
phone back together, which, won't be near as easy as takin
it apart.
quite tired this morning, will have to
wake up before i can rant about anything, cause nothing really
irritates me when i'm sleepy
|
jan 15.01
it was a long long weekend, very quiet here in the
basement. i managed to break the cordless phone into small
pieces. not for any real reason, just felt right. i
managed over the weekend to get me some eatin
though, a squirrel crawled in through a hole in the window, and
after a good long chase i caught him by his little fuzzy
tail. he was a fighter, but i used the pieces of the
broken phone to separate the good
meat from the bones and cook it one little bit at a time on
my processor. unfortunately, there wasn't a
lot of meat, but it got me by. i still haven't found a
job, but the good news is i got an email the other day and it
looks like i can make around 10,000 a week by just stuffing
envelopes at home. supposed to bowl a tourney tonight,
hopefully that envelope idea will get the wife to let me out.
i've also managed to get over that glue sniffing habit....mostly
because there is no glue here in the basement....but...envelopes
have glue....
---------------------
CONGRATULATIONS
goes out to the Glenwood
High School Bowling Team who absolutely smoked the
competition this past Saturday January 13th by throwing a 2960
series. i'll try to post the complete results of the
tournament tomorrow. and if anyone at the high school
happens to read this, there is nothing about the bowling team on
the site that i've linked to above.
---------------------
ANNOUNCING
Coming Feb. 10, 2001 the First Dick Cap Invitational
Pool Tournament brought to you by Midwest
Lanes and the International
Brotherhood Of The Pig. Up to 32 entries paying up to
$75 for first depending on entries, and the chance to play in
the Dick Cap Invitational Tournament of Champions
for a possible pay day of up to $300. Signups will take
place at Midwest Lanes in Glenwood, IA and entry is a mere $10.
---------------------
Music NEWS
i just got word from Rico of RNTP
and he said "we got the first track for our cd almost done
today, it sounds pretty bad ass. we'll get it up on napster
soon." i'll keep you all updated on the new album as
i hear from them. also, sometime next week, i'll be
posting an interview with the some of the members of the band.
---------------------
Today's News Headlines
Unisys,
Microsoft, and Dell Form Venture to Improve Vote Tallying
La-Z-Boy & Microsoft Introduce E-Cliner Armchair
---------------------
and yet another story that just makes my belly button
pucker. this lady works at a bar, as a bartender,
for 10 years, and all of the sudden people telling dirty
jokes is offensive. well, here's a hint for ya lady,
IF YOU DON'T LIKE DIRTY
JOKES, DON'T WORK AT A BAR!!!!
it reminds me of an event we were having at my local bar, where
we had named happy
hour after one of our happiest customers, and the sign they
hung showed this guy with a beer in one hand and flippin the
bird with the other hand. now that's funny crap i don't
care who you are. but, somewhere along the line, some
lovely person got offended by that too, and they had to take the
sign down. well, again i offer the same advice, IF SOMEONE
FLIPPING THE BIRD OFFENDS
YOU, YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN A BAR!!!
this just proves yet again, that people don't have enough to do
in this world, so they just go around and try to find something
that irritates them just so they can say they're
irritated. but then again, without that, i wouldn't have
anything to write about.
i'm done.
|
|
 |
|
|
new to the site?? lookin
for an old bit? check out the archives
|
|
